It’s no new info that I have a particular cringe when it comes to motivational speakers or lifestyle coaches, but I’ve noticed something that makes me shook my head. Words – this real world’s magic is loosely used and sometimes, it might encourage people to negative experiences. What am I talking about?

When it comes to motivating or inspiring people, these „speakers” like to use big words like „freedom”, „success”, „wealth”, „self”, „empower” and so on. They also use the word „Selfish” in order to encourage people to care more about themselves; and that it’s not a bad thing.

However, it’s not the right word. Stop using „Selfish”. It has an ancient cultural negative connotation. The Oxford Dictionary honorably tells us that „selfish” means:

lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one’s own personal profit or pleasure.

Now, if I put it like that, it looks bad. Words like „lack” or „chiefly” own the different nuance to what motivational speakers mean when saying „selfish”.

It’s not a good idea for the peace of this society to encourage people to lack consideration for others or chiefly impose their presence to personal profit or pleasure. Unscripted, we all do it in a small or large degree, but it shouldn’t become a massive mindset change because it still holds an ancient negative connotation.

What motivational speakers actually want to say by „selfish”…

Is self-caring. They are encouraging you to be self-caring. To make the difference between helping others and being their boxing gear. To be able to say „no” when you don’t feel alright, to be able to say „yes” to the things you like even though the others disapprove (like turning your talent into a job).

Self-caring means to pay more attention to your needs and feelings. You can still be good to the others, but when you feel tired, to have the courage of resting at home, alone. After a day’s work, to throw yourself in your favourite seat, with your favourite book and just…be.

So, dear readers, be self-caring!